Dear Diary -
Yesterday was National Nudes Day, everyone, and I mean everyone, was stark frolic naked - except me - I'd forgotten - in fact I was probably wearing more clothes than usual. It was weird, everyone was looking at me as if I had something to hide - like a fat butt or something and the tabloids were snapping me and commenting on me being overdressed in public - what's up with people! It's not like they've never seen someone in clothes before.
I'd quite forgotten I'd started it, unintentionally of course. Back in my youth in Atlantis I was making love to my girl friend in an apparently abandoned racing car on some wasteground. We were just coming to the climax, you know the bit where I fake the orgasm before she does (we've improved since then - we both fake it together - it's much more satisfying) when the racing car zoomed off with us in it. We had totally no idea (lol) it was a time machine, but anyhoo that's how we ended up here in 2007 in Dullsville. When we got out, stark naked, to see where in the universe we might be, there was an enormous fuss going on. It didn't take long to work out it was because we had our kit off. How embarrassing but it started an unexpected chain of events and the day is now commemorated as National Nudes day. "As we were born" reads the slogan on the town hall. It was amazing to see how people were going about their daily business quite unperturbed until I came along wearing my clothes. I felt like a streaker in reverse!
A Bit Of Brass for a Bit of Brass
However, today's quite another day. This morning I was woken up by a brass band playing outside my house
THE END OF WORLD POVERTY
Of course, as you will have heard on the news, the major multinational corporations have announced a new policy, in response to public demand and the more ethical, healthy and environmentally friendly consumer choices being made. Major companies are replacing competition with co-operation - One world, One people - policy. A policy of no crap or chemicals in foods, bucket loads of cash and resources to wipe out third world poverty with no strings or interest attached, policies to curb the destruction of rain forests and more. It's quite amazing - a bit like the reversal on smoking in public - something I thought I'd never see but glad of it all the same.
< It was heartening therefore to see the first dispatches of cash and supplies floating to the third world over Dullsville by what I imagine is is a very cost-effective method. Of course it will be providing the companies with a 'Photo-opportunity' and might seriously restore faith in their products but a good move all the same.
WHERE THE WIND BLOWS FREE
Another good move was the decision of Dullsville County Council to develop wind farms in every community. Oh the power of wind! My former manager illustrated that alright. His policy was 'Where ever U B let your wind blow free' and 'When in the Chapel, let it rattle!'. Once we were on a training weekend in a stately home. The women managers tried hard to convince him to be more discrete - "pinch your lips" they had said. So, in response, he located himself in a doorway so hopefully the dreadful stench would let itself out into the woods undetected. However, unbeknown to him, there was smoke detector above the door, and yes it set the alarms off. We all assembled out side, waiting for
THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE
Oh the news is particularly interesting today - The Dullsville County Educational Tinkering Department has found a new approach to teaching history in association with the Forestry commission. "Experiential education" they said "is replacing 'taught' methods". Said a consultant Alchemist. 'It is hoped that the Adventure of History will motivate disaffected kids everywhere". Grants are being offered to low-income families for equipment and clothing and
insurance. Special incantations will reveal ancient maps concealed in certain tree trunks and provide wormholes to the past. The kids are not enabled to change anything - just observe and learn and some of the video footage will be displayed on Youtube. However reports that the Sex Pistols were playing during the construction of the Pyramids are unfounded!
Well - I guess things weren't so dull here today - a bit lively in fact. Stay Dull -
Yours turely - Born in Atlantis!
View the Pictures in their original context HERE